[An excerpt from a writing dated March 2011]
How could I ever forget the day? I kept my cool and prepared myself for absolute horror as my Mom handed him the phone. "Hey Sweetie…the tests were positive. The doctors saaa……" My mind clouds in disbelief to protect me from whatever my Father said next. I knew what it ultimately meant in the end. We live in America. He worked for a major world corporation. He was just diagnosed with brain cancer…and I knew that all the crazy California health freaks in the world couldn't change the course of events that would occur over the next 18 months.
I am writing in the most heart wrenching, gut pulling way I can. Many people are hardened, numbed on the exterior to situations that are very real. They don't take much of anything very seriously, especially taboo or unconventional ideas...unless you can get to the core of people, get personal, get offensive (sometimes), get EMOTIONAL. Much depression, anger, and disease are simple to reverse. Seems that most of these things stem from a few obvious evils...like the three American food groups....FAST, FROZEN, and CANNED.
I sit here guilty of indulging in all three. Sometimes even all at once.
This is generally because our lives as Americans are so "stressful" and past faced that we get lazy or just lack acknowledgment of the terrible side effects these foods have on our human bodies. We don't want to change our diets and learn to work our bodies. We want instant results with pills, surgeries and pre-packaged meals. Fried foods and processed foods can be delicious and convenient but they are not nearly as nutritious or beneficial as RAW foods. (Which are ironically harder to obtain than processed, dyed, and synthetically flavored frozen foods.) Raw foods like milk, cheese, cream, honey and butter have been deemed illegal due to "health concerns" in all states but three in the US. This lack of freedom to choose our own nutrition is outrageous, especially since our government and the FDA have no remorse when it comes to selling alcohol, pharmaceuticals and processed tobacco products full of enough cyanide to kill a rat.
After I moved to California in 2005, my interest in alternative medicine, nutrition and holistic health shot into an infinite universe of questions, theories, ideas, wishes, and action. In the past 6 years, it's become so blatantly obvious that these fast paced American eating habits do us (our environment, and the rest of the world) a terrible amount of damage. Many Americans and Westerners worldwide suffer from anxiety, depression, anger, and social interaction issues. This number has shot through the roof in newer generations especially. Children are being born with countless birth defects and deficiencies, and they are being diagnosed with ADD and ADHD as early as 3 years old. It is my concern that we are overlooking the core issue…WHAT WE EAT. This begins in the womb.
Obviously, this begins with the mother. Though it is true that many healthy children are born to mothers who eat less than perfect foods and consume alcohol, cigarettes and even drugs, most mothers report some type of sleeping problems, eating problems or behavior problems in infants/toddlers. These children are usually given formulas choked full of hormones and additives that are artificial, medicines that dehydrate and weaken their bodies and immune systems...and are generally lacking the nutrition and ENERGY they require for healthy growth and development. These children (and likely their mothers and fathers) are being deprived of the raw natural earth foods which are ripe in vital nutrients essential for healing the body and flushing away toxic materials. These materials and free radicals are the cause of much anguish and pain, being stored in sensitive areas of the body over time and feeding on healthy tissue that surrounds it.
Some humans, however, seem to remain unaffected by lack of proper nutrition and develop regularly and healthfully. These fortunate souls most likely have a strong genetic background against disease with strengthened immunity to germs and bacteria. Or perhaps it is the exposure to these germs and bacteria that allow the body to build strength against the bad cells, making it easier for them to fight off colds and infection.? For example, someone with strong immunity may experience a cold or flu for a few hours to just a few days. A person with weakened immunity could suffer for days, weeks and even months simply because their bodies have been deprived of the foods that are essential to helping them fight off the negative entities floating around in their systems.
I pulled up in front of April's apartment. She lived in Silverlake, but the drive didn't seem that bad to me. I needed the alone time to gather my thoughts. She piled in the car along with Irene, Amanda and we headed to Venice for our weekly Monday morning meeting. I was wearing one of my prized material possessions...a moonstone ring that my dear friend Naomi handmade for me when she and her partner, River, came to visit during my first year in California. Naomi is a free spirit, a nomad, one of those "hippies"…and quite a healthy hippie, indeed! She has influenced and inspired me in countless ways. She appeased social norms with the whole "four year degree" thing, then hit the road in her van after she decided that teaching college level English (or something like that) wasn't for her. She travels all around the country in her modest van, creating and selling the most beautiful jewelry. She uses crystals and gemstones that she obtains from all over the world. Her collection is mindblowing and awe inspiring. She is mindful of what she eats, appreciates and respects her body, her soul and those around her.
Naomi had made that ring especially for me and I find it interesting that while on his deathbed, literally, my Father found it just as amazing and purely magical. He seemed to cherish it for the entire summer I was home in Pennsylvana visiting with family. I still feel guilty for waiting so long after his diagnosis to leave LA and see him. Take care of him. But I must remind myself, I did not know then what I know now, and I cannot change the past. All I can do is attempt to make life NOW better, and help the future by doing so.
We made light conversation on the way to work while we waited in traffic on Fairfax. The air was heavy enough, and the famous Los Angeles smog didn't help. I broke the mundane chatter by releasing a heavy thought that was weighing on my mind since I'd left home in Pennsylvania just a week earlier. I wished aloud, "that he would either get better or pass on, already...he doesn't deserve to suffer like this."
The moonstone on my finger began to vibrate slightly as I turned the wheel onto 6th Avenue. It became so hot in seconds that I had to frantically remove it it from my finger and I asked Irene to put it in her pocket. She is somewhat of a clairvoyant, open-minded and spiritual...I was comforted greatly by her acceptance and understanding of "crazy" situations like this one...
I attempted to enjoy all the breakfast offerings. Fresh fruits, organic muffins and pastries, fair trade coffee aplenty. We worked for a revolutionary company in the health field. The Farmacy is a place that promotes organic global medicine for local people. We sold herbs of all kinds and offered a variety of alternative, non-invasive healing methods for the open-minded people of Southern California and beyond. We specialized in Chinese, Ayurvedic and Amazonian medicine. This was my haven. This is the reason I was drawn to the west. This is the reason I believe it can work. I've seen it with my own eyes and my own soul.
I could feel it. Just before the meeting was about to start I got a call from my Brother. I walked out back to the fire escape balcony and stared off into the parking lot full of palm trees while I listened…"I don't know how to tell you this..." ...and that's all he had to say. I knew before I even answered the phone what the words would mean. He died. It was August 20th 2007, and that was the day my Father passed on. I got dizzy and my vision cloudy to the point that I questioned for a moment whether or not I would ever see again. Or if I even wanted to. Of course I did. I collapsed on the stairs on the way to my car and was accompanied by one of my managers, Fritz, a wise man of Pagan faith that brought me a great deal of comfort. He held me while I rocked, sobbing, nearly hyperventilating. He chanted some magical words. I don't remember what he said but I do remember his voice and gentleness comforting me very much. Irene joined us and took the moonstone ring from her pocket. It was still burning to the touch but I held it anyway. My Father had spent weeks clutching and wearing this ring, and I felt that we were connected through it, especially now that death had sent him everywhere...
[to be continued....someday...]
How could I ever forget the day? I kept my cool and prepared myself for absolute horror as my Mom handed him the phone. "Hey Sweetie…the tests were positive. The doctors saaa……" My mind clouds in disbelief to protect me from whatever my Father said next. I knew what it ultimately meant in the end. We live in America. He worked for a major world corporation. He was just diagnosed with brain cancer…and I knew that all the crazy California health freaks in the world couldn't change the course of events that would occur over the next 18 months.
 |
| Dad and Mom- late 70's |
 |
| My parents on their wedding day |
I am writing in the most heart wrenching, gut pulling way I can. Many people are hardened, numbed on the exterior to situations that are very real. They don't take much of anything very seriously, especially taboo or unconventional ideas...unless you can get to the core of people, get personal, get offensive (sometimes), get EMOTIONAL. Much depression, anger, and disease are simple to reverse. Seems that most of these things stem from a few obvious evils...like the three American food groups....FAST, FROZEN, and CANNED.
I sit here guilty of indulging in all three. Sometimes even all at once.
This is generally because our lives as Americans are so "stressful" and past faced that we get lazy or just lack acknowledgment of the terrible side effects these foods have on our human bodies. We don't want to change our diets and learn to work our bodies. We want instant results with pills, surgeries and pre-packaged meals. Fried foods and processed foods can be delicious and convenient but they are not nearly as nutritious or beneficial as RAW foods. (Which are ironically harder to obtain than processed, dyed, and synthetically flavored frozen foods.) Raw foods like milk, cheese, cream, honey and butter have been deemed illegal due to "health concerns" in all states but three in the US. This lack of freedom to choose our own nutrition is outrageous, especially since our government and the FDA have no remorse when it comes to selling alcohol, pharmaceuticals and processed tobacco products full of enough cyanide to kill a rat.
After I moved to California in 2005, my interest in alternative medicine, nutrition and holistic health shot into an infinite universe of questions, theories, ideas, wishes, and action. In the past 6 years, it's become so blatantly obvious that these fast paced American eating habits do us (our environment, and the rest of the world) a terrible amount of damage. Many Americans and Westerners worldwide suffer from anxiety, depression, anger, and social interaction issues. This number has shot through the roof in newer generations especially. Children are being born with countless birth defects and deficiencies, and they are being diagnosed with ADD and ADHD as early as 3 years old. It is my concern that we are overlooking the core issue…WHAT WE EAT. This begins in the womb.
Obviously, this begins with the mother. Though it is true that many healthy children are born to mothers who eat less than perfect foods and consume alcohol, cigarettes and even drugs, most mothers report some type of sleeping problems, eating problems or behavior problems in infants/toddlers. These children are usually given formulas choked full of hormones and additives that are artificial, medicines that dehydrate and weaken their bodies and immune systems...and are generally lacking the nutrition and ENERGY they require for healthy growth and development. These children (and likely their mothers and fathers) are being deprived of the raw natural earth foods which are ripe in vital nutrients essential for healing the body and flushing away toxic materials. These materials and free radicals are the cause of much anguish and pain, being stored in sensitive areas of the body over time and feeding on healthy tissue that surrounds it.
Some humans, however, seem to remain unaffected by lack of proper nutrition and develop regularly and healthfully. These fortunate souls most likely have a strong genetic background against disease with strengthened immunity to germs and bacteria. Or perhaps it is the exposure to these germs and bacteria that allow the body to build strength against the bad cells, making it easier for them to fight off colds and infection.? For example, someone with strong immunity may experience a cold or flu for a few hours to just a few days. A person with weakened immunity could suffer for days, weeks and even months simply because their bodies have been deprived of the foods that are essential to helping them fight off the negative entities floating around in their systems.
I pulled up in front of April's apartment. She lived in Silverlake, but the drive didn't seem that bad to me. I needed the alone time to gather my thoughts. She piled in the car along with Irene, Amanda and we headed to Venice for our weekly Monday morning meeting. I was wearing one of my prized material possessions...a moonstone ring that my dear friend Naomi handmade for me when she and her partner, River, came to visit during my first year in California. Naomi is a free spirit, a nomad, one of those "hippies"…and quite a healthy hippie, indeed! She has influenced and inspired me in countless ways. She appeased social norms with the whole "four year degree" thing, then hit the road in her van after she decided that teaching college level English (or something like that) wasn't for her. She travels all around the country in her modest van, creating and selling the most beautiful jewelry. She uses crystals and gemstones that she obtains from all over the world. Her collection is mindblowing and awe inspiring. She is mindful of what she eats, appreciates and respects her body, her soul and those around her.
Naomi had made that ring especially for me and I find it interesting that while on his deathbed, literally, my Father found it just as amazing and purely magical. He seemed to cherish it for the entire summer I was home in Pennsylvana visiting with family. I still feel guilty for waiting so long after his diagnosis to leave LA and see him. Take care of him. But I must remind myself, I did not know then what I know now, and I cannot change the past. All I can do is attempt to make life NOW better, and help the future by doing so.
We made light conversation on the way to work while we waited in traffic on Fairfax. The air was heavy enough, and the famous Los Angeles smog didn't help. I broke the mundane chatter by releasing a heavy thought that was weighing on my mind since I'd left home in Pennsylvania just a week earlier. I wished aloud, "that he would either get better or pass on, already...he doesn't deserve to suffer like this."
The moonstone on my finger began to vibrate slightly as I turned the wheel onto 6th Avenue. It became so hot in seconds that I had to frantically remove it it from my finger and I asked Irene to put it in her pocket. She is somewhat of a clairvoyant, open-minded and spiritual...I was comforted greatly by her acceptance and understanding of "crazy" situations like this one...
I attempted to enjoy all the breakfast offerings. Fresh fruits, organic muffins and pastries, fair trade coffee aplenty. We worked for a revolutionary company in the health field. The Farmacy is a place that promotes organic global medicine for local people. We sold herbs of all kinds and offered a variety of alternative, non-invasive healing methods for the open-minded people of Southern California and beyond. We specialized in Chinese, Ayurvedic and Amazonian medicine. This was my haven. This is the reason I was drawn to the west. This is the reason I believe it can work. I've seen it with my own eyes and my own soul.
I could feel it. Just before the meeting was about to start I got a call from my Brother. I walked out back to the fire escape balcony and stared off into the parking lot full of palm trees while I listened…"I don't know how to tell you this..." ...and that's all he had to say. I knew before I even answered the phone what the words would mean. He died. It was August 20th 2007, and that was the day my Father passed on. I got dizzy and my vision cloudy to the point that I questioned for a moment whether or not I would ever see again. Or if I even wanted to. Of course I did. I collapsed on the stairs on the way to my car and was accompanied by one of my managers, Fritz, a wise man of Pagan faith that brought me a great deal of comfort. He held me while I rocked, sobbing, nearly hyperventilating. He chanted some magical words. I don't remember what he said but I do remember his voice and gentleness comforting me very much. Irene joined us and took the moonstone ring from her pocket. It was still burning to the touch but I held it anyway. My Father had spent weeks clutching and wearing this ring, and I felt that we were connected through it, especially now that death had sent him everywhere...
 |
| My Father in August 2007. Just a few months earlier he was in seemingly good health, enjoying life and flying airplanes. During his last months on Earth, he spent a great deal of time listening to music (which was always one of his favored past times). One of his favorite albums was "Aerie" by John Denver. He reminded me many times to listen, REALLY listen to the lyrics. I took that advice to heart and have since found much guidance and many comforting clues in John Denver's words. |
[to be continued....someday...]
